♡
each time I tell you those three words I mean them more and more
I eat bugs
(via dulect)
me, 80 years old with osteoporosis:
I’M WEAK 😂😂me, 80 years old when someone takes away my oxygen mask:
I CANT BREATHE 😂😂😂😂😂me, 80 years old and blind when a stranger helps me across the street and i want to thank them:
WHO DID THIS 😂😂😂😂Me, 80 years old and I’ve walked for more then five minutes:
IM WHEEZING 😂😂😂😂
(via firedrill)
why cant your nose be 12 inches long?
because then it’ll be a foot
(via firedrill)
me to the unfertilized egg I’m releasing from my body this month
Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, or back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they’re a wide-eyed mess.
fuck kinda subway are u going to?
Substitute teachers deal with so much shit
(via illegallize)
i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed
(via unescapable)
